Now on the one hand you might say. I have heard enough grind to last me a lifetime. Or again you might say. What is grind. Or yet again you might say. Can we just talk about The Crane Wife. No no we cannot. The members of Swedish goregrind band Regurgitate. They are coming down your street. They get the funniest looks from. Everyone they meet. Hey hey, we're Regurgitate. And people say we monkey around. People are lying sacks of shit though, dog. They will kill you for a dollar. They want the dollar to take down to hell with them. Somebody actually said that to me once. He was right.
Now on the one hand you might say. I have no further use for grind. Or again you might say. I bought Morbid Florist and even listened to it a bunch of times, what more do you want from me. Or yet again you might say. Isn't it remarkable. To hear people talking about black metal like zoologists who occasionally sleep in the cages. And you might think. To yourself. Quietly and in a private moment. Wait a minute. That's what you might think. I do not want to hear black metal with the uncomfortable, appalling, unpalatable bits weeded out. If you are comfortable with it then it's hardly black metal innit. But you might say oh stuff and nonsense. It's a musical style. Maybe. The members of Regurgitate. Do not play black metal. They are a goregrind band. Surely you have heard of goregrind. It is taking the country by storm. It will be a while before you have to listen to anybody dissecting ha ha ha ha ha "dissecting" the finer stylistic points of goregrind. And isn't that part of the point. The wholeness. The organic beauty. Of the gauntlet.
Now on the one hand you might say. You have got to be kidding. Ham is ham and eggs is eggs but eventually you outgrow. The stuff that just. For the mere sake of. And those covers. Christ I remember. In 2000. Just seeing a .jpg of the sleeve made me feel bad about myself. Also about other people. And ashamed. Ashamed just generally speaking, on behalf of, in place of, because of. Well I sort of knew. That someday I would have to hear. And now there's this. The 2006 album. Sickening Bliss. With the best album cover art of the whole damn year. I hear the vinyl looks unbelievable. I am tempted.
Now on the one hand you might say. And somebody might cut off your hand. And where would you be then. Handless. And then for the record you might also say. That there really was something to the whole grind thing. That when a band. Is focused. Not on being extreme but on writing chunky-ass riffs. And then blowing them all overhead-projectorlike. And if they sequenced the album. Real smart. So that it sort of slowed down over time but no so much that it was obvious. But became expansive. Bigger as it went along. Like a snail going through dry dirt. Coming directly for your house. And you might ask somebody, is this really better than lots of other grind? There is rather a lot of it isn't there. We all got tired. No need to despair. Sickening Bliss is the real deal.
Now on the one hand you might say. So it's faster and harder and gorier. No I would say. That's not it. So on the other hand you might say. So it's toned down. No I would say. You're not getting it. And then with both hands claws-forward coming at your eyes I would say. It's this. The album seems to have an agenda. It hangs together. It's coming from someplace. It's going somewhere. It's got a sound. Not an attitude. A sound. Like the pine trees lining the winding road. It's got a name. It's got a name. That name is "Regurgitate." With a capital R and that rhymes with "Car" and that stands for "Carcass." OK that was a cheap shot and I don't even mean it.
Now on the one hand you might say. Should I buy this record. Yes. Why. Because it's good. OK. Why. Because the drums aren't so goddamn boring as about 3/4 of the metal I hear lately and the bass is totally weird. But on the other hand you say. I have been grinding since the second Agathocles split-7". Isn't this new stuff overproduced. All right you've got me there. If that's where your head's at. Then I can't help you man. Because this record sounds so damn good. Somebody with love in his heart recorded this thing. And four men with love in their hearts did their best to give that man something to record. Those four men are called Regurgitate. That one man is Jocke Pettersson. I'm Walter Cronkite. Good night.
Psych. Now on the one hand you might say. Where are you going with this. And again you might argue. That that is the very question to be asked of grind. And indeed you would be right. And that's why this album is the answer to most of your prayers, the fulfillment of some of your dreams, and the second coming of the zombie Christ in glory. Because excellence is its own justification. Not greater extremity, nor faster tempo, nor steps beyond. Steps beyond are last year. Getting the take right is this year and every year. When have I heard a grind record this awesome? Now on the one hand you might say, around 1994. And I might say. Exactly.
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