Thirty Short Poems About My Favorite Black Metal Band
One-man black metal bands!
The future stands before you
in flowing robes
and with a hot body. Your secrets
are yours alone! The guys in Merrimack
will never know your peculiar triumph.
Unless they start side projects.
Then, I guess, OK.
One-man metal bands!
Entire ideologies can be posited
explaining your solitude,
though it could also be the case
that you have no friends,
or that you hate your friends,
or that you like them just fine
but they wouldn't be into it.
One! Man! Black! Metal! Bands!
The future has mixed you a cosmopolitan
and wants to know if you'd like some peanuts.
As for the guy from Drastus, well,
he's got another band, too,
one with real other people,
and a mom somewhere, and probably a sister
with a cute French name,
and a day job
where they couldn't possibly guess
of his triumph.
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