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658209 Posts in 9262 Topics by 3396 Members Latest Member: - vlozan86 Most online today: 53 - most online ever: 494 (Jul 01, 2007, 02:59:53 PM)
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Author Topic: Addressing relatives  (Read 2432 times)
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YojimboMonkey
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Posts: 12034


« on: Jul 02, 2009, 04:57:55 PM »

I just got off the phone with my uncle Mike.  When he calls, he says "Hey Jim, this is Mike"  (Actually, he says "Hey Jimmy this is Mike" because I have another uncle named Jim and so I am forever relegated to the diminutive form, and I have always hated it)  Anyway, I always, always, always call him "Uncle Mike" whether addressing him directly or talking about him in the third person.  Is there a point of grownupness when you drop the "Uncle?"  I know, everybody's family is different and maybe I'm a retard for even thinking about this, but I just wondered what everyone else's experience was.
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Andrew_TSKS
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« Reply #1 on: Jul 02, 2009, 05:00:19 PM »

I haven't stopped using it, but I only even see my uncles on Christmas. I can't imagine having a regular social interaction with any of them, and but so maybe if I did it would affect things.
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Dee
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« Reply #2 on: Jul 02, 2009, 05:30:04 PM »

My dad's name is Jim and he HATES being called Jimmy too, but I think a handful of people call him that.
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Bernard
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« Reply #3 on: Jul 02, 2009, 05:34:27 PM »

I barely stopped calling my mother 'mommy'. My cousins call their parents by their first names, which sound horribly weird to my ears. I think it's fine for an uncle to stay Uncle X for life, as there's no grown-up version (as with the switch from daddy to dad).
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dieblucasdie
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« Reply #4 on: Jul 02, 2009, 05:43:06 PM »

You should have a war of attrition.  Insist on calling him "Unkie Mike" for as long as he insists on calling you "Jimmy."
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alex
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Posts: 6287


« Reply #5 on: Jul 02, 2009, 06:12:02 PM »

Funnily, the only people I call "uncle" or "aunt" are people who are not my uncles or aunts, but something like distant uncles or aunts of my parents. Actually, I think my "Tante Hilda" is an aunt by virtue of once having been married (then separated, then widowed) to a cousin (I think) of my grandfather. I don't expect  to ever drop the "uncle" or "aunt" from their names when addressing them, but that's an easy one, considering that the rest of the family tends to address them the same way. My real uncles and aunts I've always just called by their first names. No wait, halfway through this post I realised that I do call my father's (quite a bit older) sister aunt, but not his (quite a bit younger) brother, nor any of my mother's siblings.

I do, however, increasingly struggle with how to address my parents. I've always called them "Mama" and "Papa" (and they have always, and still do, call their parents and parents in law "Mama" and "Papa", too), and that's fine with me really; calling them anything else seems strange. Yet I do feel increasingly self-conscious about doing the same in writing. Now, I don't really ever correspond with my father in writing, but I do exchange emails with my mother every now and then, and she would never ever sign an email with "Mama" (and why would she: she doesn't define herself primarily as being my mother, but as being herself) and so it seems a bit rude for me to address her as such. But simply writing "Stefanie" would seem way, way, way wrong. So instead I clumsily try to avoid any such constructions when writing to her. The funny thing is that of course she couldn't care less whether I write "Stefanie" or "Mama" (and might even let me get away with Steffi, though, yeah, probably not).
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Greg Nog
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« Reply #6 on: Jul 02, 2009, 06:25:30 PM »

I think the only people I call Aunt or Uncle are my great-aunts and great-uncles on the Greek side.  Everyone else, we were raised to just call them by the first names.
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girl
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Posts: 9144


« Reply #7 on: Jul 02, 2009, 06:31:20 PM »

I refer to them as "my aunt" or "my uncle", but I think I pretty much just call them all by their first names when I'm talking to them. I call my mom Cookie. I can't remember when/why that started.
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dieblucasdie
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« Reply #8 on: Jul 02, 2009, 06:40:03 PM »

I started calling my dad "Pa" in my best Cletus-voice a few years back.  Not even sure why.
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Ignatius
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« Reply #9 on: Jul 02, 2009, 07:13:00 PM »

I use uncle x and aunt y and maybe always will. In my dad's family, for instance, Patrick Burke can refer to one of two cousins (who are both uncles in their own right) - Jane Kennedy's Patrick (aka Patrick Edward II) or Jane Sullivan's - or Patrick Edward III, or Uncle Pat (PEI.) Using uncle makes it slightly simpler to keep everything straight.
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mixed cats
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Posts: 3200


« Reply #10 on: Jul 02, 2009, 07:21:24 PM »

I think I call most of them by their first names to their faces, if I say their names at all (I'm not big on saying names at their owners).
But in conversation that does not include them, I usually tack on Aunt or Uncle.

We went through a long stretch of calling my mom Nain ("Elaine" as spoken by a toddler) but now I call her Mom or "HEY MA!!!" ...which, I just realized, is exactly what she does to her mother. CRAP
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Bernard
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« Reply #11 on: Jul 02, 2009, 08:31:32 PM »

...which, I just realized, is exactly what she does to her mother. CRAP

ha! I think we have a whole thread for moments like that.
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Andrew_TSKS
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Posts: 39426


« Reply #12 on: Jul 02, 2009, 10:28:27 PM »

Oh yeah. That's a pretty epic thread. Someone should bump it.
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Daniel
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« Reply #13 on: Jul 02, 2009, 11:59:54 PM »

I use names only for aunts and uncles, except if I'm being emphatic.  Mum and Dad are just that, except I started calling Mum "Momma" a while back and I still do it occasionally.
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Thermofusion
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Posts: 10000


« Reply #14 on: Jul 03, 2009, 12:04:35 AM »

It probably demonstrates my reluctance to join the 21st century, but I've always been of the mind it's kinda disrespectful to call your dad, mom, grandma or grandpa by their first name. Anybody else, whatever
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clare
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« Reply #15 on: Jul 03, 2009, 02:38:02 AM »

I call my uncles/aunts by their names with no prefix  to their faces, but in the third person they'd get the prefix to distinguish them from other people by that name, or just to underline the relationship. Pretty much always have I think - except great aunts, who were "auntie name". To their faces my mum and dad are Mum and Dad, but in emails/writing my mum is Moth. To my kids my mum is her name (she didn't want to be any of the grandmother names) and my stepfather is his name (which is waht he's always been to me) though often prefixed with Grandpa. My dad is Granddad. My only surviving grandparent (my stepfather's mum) is known as GV (G for Granny, and V for her surname). I guess a lot of this emanates from my mum who didn't like the titles much, she told me recently that she recoiled every time one of my cousins called her "auntie name". I have a friend who still calls her parents Mummy and Daddy, but her mother is Swedish and her Dad is English. As a result her kids call them Mormor (mother's mother) and Granddad, which is kind of cool.
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Ashley
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« Reply #16 on: Jul 03, 2009, 07:33:12 AM »

For my mother's side, I don't say aunt or uncle unless I'm talking to someone whose not a part of the family.  A lot of my aunts and great aunts have the same names (Yvonne, Sandra, etc), but we just say their first and last name rather than Aunt / Great Aunt.  If I'm talking to someone who doesn't know my family, I say Aunt Yvonne etc.

I can't remember how I address my father's side.  I'm a lot less comfortable with them.  I think I put Uncle / Aunt on the front when addressing them when I was little.   But I moved away when I was 9, and then moved back when I was 16.  I probably stopped saying it that way then.  And, I think this is kind of funny, my brothers and I call my grandmother Grammy, but the rest of my cousins and my father call her Granny.  My mother told me my grandmother often asked my father and my uncle not to call her Granny, but to call her Grammy, but for some reason they never did. 

When I'm talking about my parents, I call them my mother and my father.  But when I'm addressing them, or talking about them within the family, I call them Mom and Dad. 
« Last Edit: Jul 03, 2009, 07:45:11 AM by Ashley » Logged

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Bernard
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« Reply #17 on: Jul 03, 2009, 03:56:56 PM »

Hm. It's a bit complicated because in Farsi you often add 'joon' , which roughly means 'dear' (actually jaan, but with a Tehrani accent it flattens to joon) to names as a courtesy, likewise I call all my mother's uncles what works out to 'uncle-dear X'. Also in Farsi there are different words for maternal and paternal aunts and uncles, and variations to specify whether they're by blood or by marriage. One relative is thus 'maternal-uncle's-wife-dear' even though she is really almost no relation to me and hasn't been married to my mother's mother's brother for many years. She did send me some nice dishes when I got married, though.

Calling her by her first name would seem incredibly presumptuous. I tend to be a little more formal though, anyhow. I call my professors 'professor X' despite some of them being younger. I have made a conscious effort to call people by the names they prefer but in my head I'm still saying 'professor lastname'.
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Andrew_TSKS
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Posts: 39426


« Reply #18 on: Jul 03, 2009, 04:04:00 PM »

I only call my professors "Professor X" when they look like this:






Sorry, couldn't resist.
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jebreject
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Posts: 27071


« Reply #19 on: Jul 04, 2009, 02:17:15 PM »

Nice cat.
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heather marie
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« Reply #20 on: Jul 04, 2009, 09:47:51 PM »

I call my aunt and uncle on my dad's side "aunt ____" and "uncle ____" because they're a little more formal and old-fashioned. My mom, however, has 6 brothers and sisters and I have always addressed them by just their first name. It's kind of weird, but oh well.
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Andrew_TSKS
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Posts: 39426


« Reply #21 on: Jul 04, 2009, 10:37:11 PM »

Nice cat.

That's ultimate-universe Professor X. That's his cat, Mystique, who is named after the evil mutant Mystique, the ultimate version of which is one of Professor X's ex-girlfriends. Apparently Emma Frost named the cat Mystique after it shredded a shitload of stuff in the Professor's office.

This is only funny or even understandable to X-Men fans, I'm sure.
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jebreject
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« Reply #22 on: Jul 04, 2009, 11:00:54 PM »

That is really funny.
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diesel_powered
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« Reply #23 on: Jul 05, 2009, 07:38:10 AM »

That's vaguely funny.
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Little Sixes Little Nines
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« Reply #24 on: Jul 05, 2009, 08:11:41 AM »

Here (by here i MAY mean new zealand, or i may just mean in my own family) the word "aunt" is not used, and is replaced always by "aunty" (or is it "auntie"?). But when you become an adult, I guess you stop being allowed to use a "y" suffix when talking to people, so it kind of sounds weird to say "auntie X". So in my family, all the uncles are "uncle name" and all the aunties are just their names. And i've never thought about it til now.
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