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658121 Posts in 9262 Topics by 3396 Members Latest Member: - vlozan86 Most online today: 62 - most online ever: 494 (Jul 01, 2007, 02:59:53 PM)
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Author Topic: no more certain than I think I might have been before: uncertainty, con't.  (Read 25557 times)
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Good Intentions
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« Reply #450 on: Apr 14, 2012, 06:22:03 PM »

Well, it's very good news. My granddad is being moved from ICU to the normal wards, and is doing exceptionally well, all things considered.
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Thermofusion
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« Reply #451 on: Apr 14, 2012, 06:30:52 PM »

Great news!
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fishjim
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« Reply #452 on: Apr 14, 2012, 07:22:36 PM »

Wonderful news, GI. So glad you're able to be there for him.
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peacocks
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« Reply #453 on: Apr 14, 2012, 08:07:50 PM »

I'm so sorry to hear your grampa's sick! I'm glad he's getting better hopefully he'll be home soon  Heart
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auto-da-fey
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« Reply #454 on: Apr 14, 2012, 08:18:55 PM »

glad to hear the turn for the better, GI, and hoping things keep heading further in that direction.
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jess
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« Reply #455 on: Apr 14, 2012, 09:36:11 PM »

Glad he's doing better! Hope that continues, and everyone is able to get some rest too.
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Good Intentions
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« Reply #456 on: Apr 14, 2012, 10:54:02 PM »

Spent some time with him early this afternoon, and had a bit of conversation, which is not what I was expecting last night. He's uncomfortable and in a bit of pain, and is annoyed by his lack of confidence in English (not helped by the fact that he is very hard of hearing, and is having a dramatic experience in a strange country) but he has his sense of humour about him. Even though it's less than 24 hours after his operation, which was so dangerous they had my grandmother say her goodbyes to him as they put him in the ambulance, he is bright and attentive now, though tired.

We were kindly motivated to give him a bit of time to rest, but I'll go by again later this afternoon.
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Dick
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« Reply #457 on: Apr 15, 2012, 12:13:09 AM »

My best to your grandfather and you both, Marinus. 
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clare
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« Reply #458 on: Apr 15, 2012, 04:45:15 AM »

That's great that you've got to spend more time with him, Marinus.
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G.C.R
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« Reply #459 on: Apr 15, 2012, 06:27:13 AM »

 Much Love How's today been? Are you guys all doing ok?
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Anne the Man
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« Reply #460 on: Apr 22, 2012, 05:39:24 AM »

My old flatmate, who is one of my closest friends, has been staying at my house (not in my room), and I've been feeling rather emotionally crowded by it. On top of that she sort of befriended one of the flatmates before I got there, and they hang out a bunch, while I still feel new and intimidated. I mentioned that I needed some space because I thought she had somewhere else to stay, but it turns out she doesn't. So now she's watching a movie with the other flatmate while I sit in my room. I may dry my tears and go join them like a mature person, but I dunno. Also the one who is possibly my favourite flatmate is going away for a month from Tuesday, which kinda sucks. I feel lonely.
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elpollodiablo
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« Reply #461 on: May 02, 2012, 11:57:11 AM »

I'm having an extreme crisis of confidence that I imagine many of you academics are familiar with. I submitted a draft of a book chapter in December and felt pretty good about it--not great, because the article didn't end up being what I wanted it to be, it was written under extreme pressure and time constraints (I remember doing final line-edits on the floor of a Morningside Heights sublet hours before I had to submit final grades AND have everything packed up and back in the car for the return trip to Ohio). Radio silence for a couple of months, and then the editors mailed me back with a timeline, a provisional table of contents that included my chapter(!), and scores and scores of really direct, blunt comments that rooted out precisely all of the failings and weaknesses in my argument and organization. I just barely scanned them back when I received them back in February; there was just too much going on to even think about it, anyway. They didn't want revisions until 5/21. I plotted the rest of the semester out so I would have the first three weeks of May to revise.

And now that it's May 2 I'm having a very hard time bringing myself to do the work. This is due largely to a package of anxieties and also just general end-of-semester malaise. For one thing, this is my first time receiving something like "professional" edits, and my ego feels kinda fragile--just reading their comments is giving me agita. Secondly, I don't really believe in this article any longer, and I'm not even sure *I* buy my argument now. It seems really incoherent in places, and the super-long preamble to the actual close reading (something common in lit articles) strikes me as utterly extraneous, and that's a problem consider it's roughly half of the essay. Just in the intervening five months my interests and attitudes have changed enough that were I to write the proposal now, I almost *certainly* wouldn't have taken the same critical approach. I also would have been much, much more aware of some really amateurish, embarrassing rhetorical and methodological moves I made in my first draft. Gah.

Really what I want to do is write them and say, sorry, thanks but no thanks, I'm too busy, etc., and then spend my last month in Ohio enjoying untroubled time with my family and friends, biking, camping, visiting people around the state, etc. Doing the revisions doesn't preclude all that, but it would require some serious investment of time. Chucking it over is really tempting. But there's no getting away from the fact that this could potentially be a huge opportunity for me--if the book gets published (which seems pretty likely), and my article is accepted in the final analysis (probably less likely) I would then have an extant publication. Depending on my career trajectory, this could be little more than a personal accomplishment (although a really awesome one!), or, if I decide to continue onto the PhD in several years' time, it could put me at the absolute top of a lot of application pools at NYC schools where I'd otherwise be up against a lot of people with much stronger pedigrees. So chucking it over seems like maybe really wasteful and irresponsible...

Damn. Sorry to go on so long. Sad
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auto-da-fey
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« Reply #462 on: May 02, 2012, 12:31:38 PM »

if it wasn't gonna be included, they wouldn't have bothered with the comments--making the provisional TOC should mean it's a done deal unless an outside reviewer gets mad aggro, which is less likely with edited collections.

for what it's worth, I undertand these feelings well--there are few technical victories in the world that feel more failure-like than a revise-and-resubmit, and this is less fail-like than that. maybe kill some lit-review-bloat to open wordcount up for fleshing out the revisions, tweak the argument to improve without radically overhauling, and presto.

so the basic takeaway, IMHO, is

So chucking it over seems like maybe really wasteful and irresponsible...
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davy
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« Reply #463 on: May 02, 2012, 12:36:34 PM »

Seconded. Once you get started I bet you find your groove.
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peacocks
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« Reply #464 on: May 02, 2012, 12:59:07 PM »

You can do it! Whit makes it sound so easy. Good luck dude!
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auto-da-fey
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« Reply #465 on: May 02, 2012, 01:21:55 PM »

just to be clear, I don't mean to make it sound easy--shit is grueling. but doable, for sure.
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dumbfish
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« Reply #466 on: May 02, 2012, 01:42:53 PM »

Seconding Whit here. Revise and resubmit, Pollo. Sounds like you got honest, expert feedback, which is gold. It's humbling, but that's a good thing. You can do it.
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elpollodiablo
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« Reply #467 on: May 02, 2012, 02:05:03 PM »

Thanks for all the encouraging words, dudes, it helped to write it out, for sure.

whit what do you think about telling em it'll be a week over schedule? I think that'd take a good deal of the pressure off, as we've got such an insane social schedule through most of May. If they've invested time & labor in it already and the proofs of everyone's work are going to take more time, regardless, probably not too much harm to be done, yeah?
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think 'on the road.'
auto-da-fey
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« Reply #468 on: May 02, 2012, 08:42:00 PM »

yeah, I can't imagine that would be a major issue. I'd ask contritely instead of simply telling, but I doubt they're expecting things to actually come in on time, as that would be a first in the entire history of academia.
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Good Intentions
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« Reply #469 on: May 02, 2012, 10:48:05 PM »

Yeah, go for it, for sure. It's another line on the CV, at least. Don't overdo the edits, though. Address the comments, and keep it at that. My attempts to do large-scale revisions in the face of specific comments have always made matters worse, not better. Tone down the bits that embarrass you now, and do what the referees recommend, is what I'd do.
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elpollodiablo
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Posts: 32624


« Reply #470 on: May 03, 2012, 06:59:46 PM »

Well, after thoroughly reviewing the comments and devising a plan for revision, I feel pretty good about it. The comments were nowhere near as mortifying or critical as I'd remembered, and the overall quality of the essay is actually pretty decent--I'd conveniently forgotten the ~6 months I spent researching and writing the thing. Kind of wish I hadn't asked for the 7 day extension since in all likelihood I won't need it, but (assuming it's granted) it'll at least take some of the pressure off.

So glad I was able to think this out here and fish for some encouragement. Thanks again, guys!
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mixed cats
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« Reply #471 on: May 05, 2012, 08:25:39 AM »

woo deteriorating grandparents
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peacocks
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« Reply #472 on: May 05, 2012, 09:25:28 AM »

Sad
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fishjim
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« Reply #473 on: May 05, 2012, 05:36:31 PM »

ugh deteriorating brother

don't do drugs, kids. or at least not large quantities of adderall, alcohol, and cough syrup with synthetic opioids.

after a decade, your brain -will- be fried.
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mixed cats
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« Reply #474 on: May 06, 2012, 03:37:28 PM »

A long story of decline over the past few months - accelerated in the last three weeks - led to my parents finally convincing my grandmother to go to the hospital yesterday. Congestive heart failure, cardiac arrhythmia, kidney failure. There are a lot of reasons the things can't be fixed. When she gets discharged they're putting her in hospice care at my parents' house. As of my mom calling last night that was the plan, but I haven't heard anything else yet today. Someone told my parents last night not to expect more than a month or two. Blergh.
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call me, and we'll sit down and work it out
over pancakes and orange juices
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