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658136 Posts in 9262 Topics by 3396 Members Latest Member: - vlozan86 Most online today: 63 - most online ever: 494 (Jul 01, 2007, 02:59:53 PM)
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Author Topic: no more certain than I think I might have been before: uncertainty, con't.  (Read 25572 times)
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monkeypants
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Posts: 694


« Reply #375 on: Feb 04, 2012, 01:57:50 PM »

So, this is kinda odd for me.  I'm not exactly the most active poster here, and I've rarely (ever?) posted much that was personal, but I kinda need to vent so why not let fly on a semi-anonymous message board?  I was just accepted into grad school.  I'm 41 years old and have been at my current job (the only "real" job I've ever had) for almost 16 years.  Hell, I've been in the same *apartment* for almost 12 years.   Obviously, I'm okay with stability.  And now I'm turning my entire life upside down.  New field, new state, new everything.  This is major, but I've been really unhappy for a lot of different reasons lately and just really felt I needed to make some changes.  My anxiety level has been completely batshit since the beginning of the year.  I figure in 5 to 10 years I'll look back and declare this to be either the smartest think I ever did for myself or the biggest mistake I ever made.  I don't think there's going to be much in-between.   Mid-life crisis, ahoy!
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El_Josharino
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Posts: 7483


« Reply #376 on: Feb 04, 2012, 02:38:14 PM »

I think it's a good move. I once woke up, decided to quit my job that day and then just move to a different city. Granted, I didn't move far, but still was significant for me at the time. Was one of the best things I've ever done.

And what's life without the possibility of absolute failure anyway, right?
« Last Edit: Feb 04, 2012, 02:41:04 PM by El_Josharino » Logged

Hey sexy mama, wanna kill all humans?
Dick
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Posts: 619


« Reply #377 on: Feb 04, 2012, 02:49:42 PM »

Word, Josh.

If you're stuck in a situation that makes you unhappy, taking steps to change it is never really a bad idea.  Even if it doesn't work out quite as you want, at least it's something fucking different?  There are no end of life awards for 'sticking with it' and 'being a trooper'.
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C of heartbreak
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Posts: 5285


« Reply #378 on: Feb 04, 2012, 03:32:09 PM »

While I agree with the sentiment above, I've also noticed that a lot of the time when people think they can solve their problems of general malaise with a change of scenery, they often end up just as unhappy in the new location. So while changing your situation is a great and very important ritual in starting over, it's also important to identify the reasons why you are actually unhappy, many of which probably don't have a lot to do with where you are, and address those.
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monkeypants
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Posts: 694


« Reply #379 on: Feb 04, 2012, 04:34:05 PM »

While I agree with the sentiment above, I've also noticed that a lot of the time when people think they can solve their problems of general malaise with a change of scenery, they often end up just as unhappy in the new location. So while changing your situation is a great and very important ritual in starting over, it's also important to identify the reasons why you are actually unhappy, many of which probably don't have a lot to do with where you are, and address those.

Yes.  This has been on my mind a *lot* through the whole process, and I think it's at the root of much of my anxiety.  I do genuinely think that much of my current unease does relate to my job, living situation, etc., and overall I think that change is the right thing for me at this juncture, but much of my unhappiness is certainly with myself, and I'm trying to work on that too, but it's much more difficult to pinpoint, let alone resolve.
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Nick Ink
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Posts: 7018


« Reply #380 on: Feb 06, 2012, 03:01:24 PM »

I'm going back to Moscow on Saturday, for two weeks of teacher training. That is, I'm training teachers. I understand it's quite cold there. So I bought a new hat today. I would rather stay here, with my girls, but I expect I'll enjoy it once I'm there. It's going to be busy.
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coldforge
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Posts: 11924


« Reply #381 on: Feb 06, 2012, 03:25:28 PM »

While I agree with the sentiment above, I've also noticed that a lot of the time when people think they can solve their problems of general malaise with a change of scenery, they often end up just as unhappy in the new location. So while changing your situation is a great and very important ritual in starting over, it's also important to identify the reasons why you are actually unhappy, many of which probably don't have a lot to do with where you are, and address those.
I should mention here, the going line in my circles when this question comes up is: the problem with moving is that wherever you go, you bring yourself with you.
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č l'era del terzo mondo.
Nick Ink
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Posts: 7018


« Reply #382 on: Feb 10, 2012, 11:34:03 AM »

I'm going back to Moscow on Saturday, for two weeks of teacher training. That is, I'm training teachers. I understand it's quite cold there. So I bought a new hat today. I would rather stay here, with my girls, but I expect I'll enjoy it once I'm there. It's going to be busy.

Right, I'm off at 5.30 tomorrow morning, it's minus 28 there, last time out my boss got bitten on the arse by one of Moscow's street dogs and I have only half an idea what I'm supposed to be doing when I get there.

Nobody has replied to this yet, and look, I don't want to rushya but I really mostgo.
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coldforge
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Posts: 11924


« Reply #383 on: Feb 10, 2012, 11:42:03 AM »

Come on, Nick. Quit Stalin.
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č l'era del terzo mondo.
fishjim
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Posts: 1982


« Reply #384 on: Feb 10, 2012, 12:01:23 PM »

 Rolling Eyes
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Anne the Man
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Posts: 4444


« Reply #385 on: Feb 10, 2012, 09:00:41 PM »

Come on fishjim, be more Leninent.
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fishjim
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Posts: 1982


« Reply #386 on: Feb 10, 2012, 09:38:55 PM »

I'm just Putin you on, CF.
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clare
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Posts: 5192


« Reply #387 on: Feb 10, 2012, 09:57:49 PM »

Make sure your hands don't drop off, Yuri.
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Ashley
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Posts: 1876


« Reply #388 on: Feb 11, 2012, 12:35:52 AM »

I just had a really awful experience at a party with a bunch of people I don't know very well, I'm pretty sure I made the best of it but man it's hard not to be super anxious about it.  Someone got sick, and everyone is okay but it was just really unfortunate the way people handled it. 
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FreddyKnuckles
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Posts: 11705


« Reply #389 on: Feb 27, 2012, 08:58:08 PM »

So a dude posted on the neighbor hood listserv that he and his girlfriend were robbed at gunpoint about 30 feet from my front door.  Three 16-20 year old african american men in ski masks with semi automatic handguns at 11pm on a thursday.  Demanded their smartphones, wallet, briefcase, and purse.  He said the seemed very calm and even waved on cars that pulled up to the intersection they were at with their guns.  Police said, 'that sucks'.  So I made the mistake of checking the crime map and there have been 10 robberies with guns within 1000 feet of my apartment in the last year and another 13 robberies without a gun.  Did I mention that I live less than 1/3 mile from the nation's capitol?  fuck those dudes for making people afraid to go out!  Also fuck the DC city government. 
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YojimboMonkey
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Posts: 12034


« Reply #390 on: Mar 03, 2012, 12:11:58 PM »

edit: Fuck this isn't an uncertain post, this is a pissy post, where is the I am a pissy bitch thread? Fuckit I'll make one
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hannah
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Posts: 9366


« Reply #391 on: Mar 12, 2012, 07:58:06 PM »

Is it horribly, terribly awful of me to back out of a grad student conference? The issue here is mostly money—namely, a $300 flight I don't think my department will be able to reimburse me for. If I had the time, I might scrounge around for funds, but time is also an issue.

And I am uncertain about this paper I am writing, but that's not unusual.
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elpollodiablo
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Posts: 32624


« Reply #392 on: Mar 12, 2012, 07:58:55 PM »

Absolutely not!
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think 'on the road.'
fishjim
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Posts: 1982


« Reply #393 on: Mar 12, 2012, 08:01:11 PM »

No No No !

STAY HOME
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elpollodiablo
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Posts: 32624


« Reply #394 on: Mar 12, 2012, 08:04:31 PM »

My department doesn't even reimburse for grad student conferences.
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think 'on the road.'
Anne the Man
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Posts: 4444


« Reply #395 on: Mar 13, 2012, 08:53:25 PM »

Just emailed Dossie Easton, co-author of The Ethical Slut, asking if I could access her thesis. I told her about my book and all. Fucking love the internet age enabling me to do this, but eek. I clicked the send button and felt like I'd been doused in cold water. We shall see.
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mixed cats
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Posts: 3200


« Reply #396 on: Mar 14, 2012, 11:18:23 AM »

the looming future keeps me up at night.
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call me, and we'll sit down and work it out
over pancakes and orange juices
Greg Nog
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Posts: 21629


« Reply #397 on: Mar 14, 2012, 11:30:28 AM »

Have you thought about buying a better loom?
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mixed cats
Registered user

Posts: 3200


« Reply #398 on: Mar 14, 2012, 12:01:52 PM »

I HAVE. (Seriously, the new furniture arrangement in my studio would fit a Schacht Baby Wolf pretty well, 'cause the Wolf series fold up. I'd rather have a Standard, though.)
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call me, and we'll sit down and work it out
over pancakes and orange juices
Ashley
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Posts: 1876


« Reply #399 on: Mar 14, 2012, 12:55:01 PM »

I want my friend to move out of her parent's house and into an apartment with me.  She's going to school for weaving and is all "but I need a room for my loom!"

I want to see it.
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