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657918 Posts in 9260 Topics by 3396 Members Latest Member: - vlozan86 Most online today: 65 - most online ever: 494 (Jul 01, 2007, 02:59:53 PM)
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Author Topic: It's Only People Pretending: New TV thread  (Read 48152 times)
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milly balgeary
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Posts: 11512


« Reply #25 on: Feb 08, 2012, 09:24:48 PM »

only one answer makes sense. He's afraid. shit is SCARRRUHHHI
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FreddyKnuckles
Registered user

Posts: 11705


« Reply #26 on: Feb 08, 2012, 10:59:18 PM »

The Gifted Young Athlete
An open letter from Kenny Powers to Tim Tebow
By Kenny Powers on February 7, 2012

With football season over, we asked the most important athlete of our age to try to make sense of the mystical experience that was Tebowmania. He said yes, on one condition: that we not alter a single word of his piece. For better or worse, we agreed.

As Yogi Berra famously said, "it's like Deja Vu came all over itself again."

The more I read about Tim Tebow, the more I see similarities to my own life story. Our story begins with a young mother- to-be who wants an abortion. Instead, she mans up and has the baby, giving birth to a son-child.

This special son-child makes a life out of bucking the odds. Though neither the strongest nor the fastest, he excels at sports. Many experts doubt the remarkable lad. They tell him he throws funny, and that he doesn't have the right physique for the game. It's science, they say. He'll only go so far.

But the Gifted Young Athlete refuses to let the doubters shit in his Wheaties. To hell with science. The Gifted Young Athlete knows that he has something stronger. He has God on his side. So he presses on and keeps a good attitude, and every time he beats the odds in life he proves the experts wrong.

Next thing you know, there are folks calling it a miracle. Maybe the Gifted Young Athlete is blessed by the Almighty, they say. Perhaps he really does have a fucking angel on his shoulder.

And suddenly the experts don't look like experts anymore. By now, our hero has upset a whole lot of people. There are those who simply don't like the idea of a man being favored by God. They feel his special relationship with Jesus diminishes their own somehow. If Jesus loves the Gifted Young Athlete, what does he think of the rest of us? Bunch of assholes?

So the haters multiply, and soon the resentment reaches a boiling point. And that's when the torches and pitchforks and long knives come out. Yes, the world is given a savior but they choose to crucify him instead. Who'd a thunk it? The same old fuckin' story.

Maybe that's why Jesus likes us so much to begin with. He sees a little of himself in there.

You see, Gifted Young Athlete, people look at us and they see all they don't have. It's like, "homeboy's over there gettin' 'er done! And Jesus loves him too! Fuck that guy."

But can you really blame them? Wouldn't you be pissed? Jesus helps us win at sports games, yet he's nowhere to be found when poor people need important medicine for their kid's infection, or when they're late on a mortgage payment. Think about it. There are folks in Africa who get AIDS without even being gay. Yet here Jesus is, helping me & Tebow out in sports, just because we're maybe a little bit cooler in his eyes. It's a raw deal, plain and simple. Even though he's hooking me up, I still see it's kind of a cocksucker move on Jesus's part.

But my advice to you, Mr. Tebow, from one Gifted Young Athlete to another: don't kill yourself trying to make sense of all the madness. Just hold on to your dick and have a good time. Believe me, it's all you can do. Make no apologies, either. Those are for weak people, and the haters will hate you anyway. It's not our fault we're awesome, playboy. It's Jesus's. As the gorgeous bitches in the makeup commercials used to say, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."

God Bless.

Kenny Powers
Shelby, NC

Eastbound & Down returns to HBO on February 19.
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Quote from: Heathcote
I'm in with Greg Nog, IT'S FUCKING FAFFLE TIME!
Thermofusion
Registered user

Posts: 10000


« Reply #27 on: Feb 08, 2012, 11:48:49 PM »

Hahahaha

I watched the River earlier. Uh...kinda bad, it turns out. The dialogue is really bad at times. As davy said, there are a few neat scenes. None of the characters are interesting save for the dude they're trying to find, and he's only shown in flashback footage. I will give it a couple more episodes.
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triple paisley minimum
milly balgeary
Registered user

Posts: 11512


« Reply #28 on: Feb 11, 2012, 10:37:28 PM »

things about spartacus vengeance

*the new spartacus. he's weak. needs more muscles to hang with these bangers.
*most of the characters died in the riveting finale when ... everyone died.
*first episode meanders.

things i do like
*lawless is back, with that rack
*the nudity is even more naked
*the bizzaro violence is even more amped up
*crixus

things in the middle
*sometimes the fights and FX are a little muddy compared to the other seasons. it somehow makes it more exploitative, and nuttier.
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mixed cats
Registered user

Posts: 3200


« Reply #29 on: Feb 13, 2012, 08:06:12 PM »

I am watching The River now and I just got so mad that they used the wrong kind of monkey for South America
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call me, and we'll sit down and work it out
over pancakes and orange juices
cold before sunrise
Registered user

Posts: 2500


« Reply #30 on: Feb 13, 2012, 09:00:44 PM »

The Gifted Young Athlete
An open letter from Kenny Powers to Tim Tebow
By Kenny Powers on February 7, 2012

With football season over, we asked the most important athlete of our age to try to make sense of the mystical experience that was Tebowmania. He said yes, on one condition: that we not alter a single word of his piece. For better or worse, we agreed.

As Yogi Berra famously said, "it's like Deja Vu came all over itself again."

The more I read about Tim Tebow, the more I see similarities to my own life story. Our story begins with a young mother- to-be who wants an abortion. Instead, she mans up and has the baby, giving birth to a son-child.

This special son-child makes a life out of bucking the odds. Though neither the strongest nor the fastest, he excels at sports. Many experts doubt the remarkable lad. They tell him he throws funny, and that he doesn't have the right physique for the game. It's science, they say. He'll only go so far.

But the Gifted Young Athlete refuses to let the doubters shit in his Wheaties. To hell with science. The Gifted Young Athlete knows that he has something stronger. He has God on his side. So he presses on and keeps a good attitude, and every time he beats the odds in life he proves the experts wrong.

Next thing you know, there are folks calling it a miracle. Maybe the Gifted Young Athlete is blessed by the Almighty, they say. Perhaps he really does have a fucking angel on his shoulder.

And suddenly the experts don't look like experts anymore. By now, our hero has upset a whole lot of people. There are those who simply don't like the idea of a man being favored by God. They feel his special relationship with Jesus diminishes their own somehow. If Jesus loves the Gifted Young Athlete, what does he think of the rest of us? Bunch of assholes?

So the haters multiply, and soon the resentment reaches a boiling point. And that's when the torches and pitchforks and long knives come out. Yes, the world is given a savior but they choose to crucify him instead. Who'd a thunk it? The same old fuckin' story.

Maybe that's why Jesus likes us so much to begin with. He sees a little of himself in there.

You see, Gifted Young Athlete, people look at us and they see all they don't have. It's like, "homeboy's over there gettin' 'er done! And Jesus loves him too! Fuck that guy."

But can you really blame them? Wouldn't you be pissed? Jesus helps us win at sports games, yet he's nowhere to be found when poor people need important medicine for their kid's infection, or when they're late on a mortgage payment. Think about it. There are folks in Africa who get AIDS without even being gay. Yet here Jesus is, helping me & Tebow out in sports, just because we're maybe a little bit cooler in his eyes. It's a raw deal, plain and simple. Even though he's hooking me up, I still see it's kind of a cocksucker move on Jesus's part.

But my advice to you, Mr. Tebow, from one Gifted Young Athlete to another: don't kill yourself trying to make sense of all the madness. Just hold on to your dick and have a good time. Believe me, it's all you can do. Make no apologies, either. Those are for weak people, and the haters will hate you anyway. It's not our fault we're awesome, playboy. It's Jesus's. As the gorgeous bitches in the makeup commercials used to say, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."

God Bless.

Kenny Powers
Shelby, NC

Eastbound & Down returns to HBO on February 19.

the most offensive thing about this is how is dismisses the efforts of the athlete, as if anybody is born throwing a great curve ball. winning athletes train harder. it's not like somebody wins a game riding on the shoulders of angels. how can christians give jesus credit for something a person gained only due to endless hours of hard, sweaty training? "it was jesus." how rude.
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Chet
Registered user

Posts: 3629


« Reply #31 on: Feb 13, 2012, 09:03:00 PM »

hahahahaha!
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"You need to put some clothes on and eat some food."
Thermofusion
Registered user

Posts: 10000


« Reply #32 on: Feb 14, 2012, 12:46:58 AM »

I am watching The River now and I just got so mad that they used the wrong kind of monkey for South America

Are you thumbs-down on it like myself and Mr. Gibbs?
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triple paisley minimum
cold before sunrise
Registered user

Posts: 2500


« Reply #33 on: Feb 14, 2012, 01:29:15 AM »

hahahahaha!

you think it's funny but when masters of their field win awards they thank god/jesus, as a social grace, because it's undiplomatic to say "i worked harder then anybody to get this and deserve it." then brainwashed fools think they can pray to god for what they desire and blame his absence when becoming a champion isn't a wish that can be instantly granted, as though the power of creation was their unmotivated selves personal genie in a lamp. people who don't accept self responsibility love religion, if only for something to blame their failures on. oh boo-hoo, why doesn't god love me?
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Riding a tidal wave of whiskey on a surfboard made out of don't care.
Little Sixes Little Nines
Registered user

Posts: 1493


« Reply #34 on: Feb 14, 2012, 05:10:35 AM »

well, yes, of course, but - do you know who kenny powers is?
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i just sighed (my shitty tumblr)
Chet
Registered user

Posts: 3629


« Reply #35 on: Feb 14, 2012, 05:20:55 AM »

hahahahaha!

you think it's funny but when masters of their field win awards they thank god/jesus, as a social grace, because it's undiplomatic to say "i worked harder then anybody to get this and deserve it." then brainwashed fools think they can pray to god for what they desire and blame his absence when becoming a champion isn't a wish that can be instantly granted, as though the power of creation was their unmotivated selves personal genie in a lamp. people who don't accept self responsibility love religion, if only for something to blame their failures on. oh boo-hoo, why doesn't god love me?
Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
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"You need to put some clothes on and eat some food."
Chet
Registered user

Posts: 3629


« Reply #36 on: Feb 14, 2012, 05:21:22 AM »

is somebody gonna tell her or should i?
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"You need to put some clothes on and eat some food."
Babar
Registered user

Posts: 3305


« Reply #37 on: Feb 14, 2012, 05:23:34 AM »

Peep Show continues to be just delightful. I'm at season 6 now and Mark has just lost his job. Mark's inner monologue continues to be the highlight of the show "Think she's spotted it... just... yeah, that's right sweetheart...ergonomic management keyboard" "I've dropped about six social classes since this morning" Oh David Mitchell, you
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Oh man, I'm gonna have cause to regret this post. I know it.
mixed cats
Registered user

Posts: 3200


« Reply #38 on: Feb 14, 2012, 08:54:40 AM »

I am watching The River now and I just got so mad that they used the wrong kind of monkey for South America

Are you thumbs-down on it like myself and Mr. Gibbs?
I feel kind of ambivalent about it. I'll give it a few more episodes.

I watched it on demand, and it wouldn't let me fast forward through the commercials, which were all for the DVD release of Lady and the Tramp. Delightful incongruity!
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call me, and we'll sit down and work it out
over pancakes and orange juices
davy
Registered user

Posts: 24822


« Reply #39 on: Feb 14, 2012, 01:53:01 PM »

Hahahaha

I watched the River earlier. Uh...kinda bad, it turns out. The dialogue is really bad at times. As davy said, there are a few neat scenes. None of the characters are interesting save for the dude they're trying to find, and he's only shown in flashback footage. I will give it a couple more episodes.

Didn't you love the part where they were all LOOK A TREE WITH SCARY DOLLS HANGING FROM IT and then they decided to hang out there for like a week, trying out all the different camera angles and filters, just to be sure you didn't miss that WHOA THERE'S A TREE WITH SCARY DOLLS HANGING FROM IT... IN THE JUNGLE! AND SOMETIMES THEIR EYES MOVE!
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The drummer IS the foundation, p3wn.
peacocks
Registered user

Posts: 4615


« Reply #40 on: Feb 16, 2012, 10:18:24 PM »

At gramma's house. They love NCIS and all the various law and orders here and they keep the tv on loud. They are my least favorite things on tv due to the violence and close ups of hideously mangled dead people and the dumb reasons people kill other people. They don't like sitcoms because of the sex. I love my gramma but it's gonna be a long weekend.
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dick-check your priviledge
FreddyKnuckles
Registered user

Posts: 11705


« Reply #41 on: Feb 16, 2012, 10:26:14 PM »

is somebody gonna tell her or should i?

NICE. 

CBS:

Kenny Powers is a fictional television character, and this op ed is a humorous fiction piece, from the perspective of a fictional over-the-top washed up baseball star.
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Quote from: Heathcote
I'm in with Greg Nog, IT'S FUCKING FAFFLE TIME!
cold before sunrise
Registered user

Posts: 2500


« Reply #42 on: Feb 17, 2012, 12:32:22 AM »

my point stands but thank god, he must feel like an idiot reading those lines.

chef hughes killed it representing montreal last night on iron chef lobster.
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Riding a tidal wave of whiskey on a surfboard made out of don't care.
nonotyet
Registered user

Posts: 7691


« Reply #43 on: Feb 21, 2012, 05:09:16 PM »

HOORAY
http://entertainment.time.com/2012/02/21/human-beings-rejoice-community-returns-to-nbc-march-15/
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elpollodiablo
Registered user

Posts: 32624


« Reply #44 on: Feb 21, 2012, 05:21:01 PM »

Man so 30 Rock this season is as good as it's been in years. Last week's episode was fucking killing me; it's probably one of the best of the series.
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think 'on the road.'
Greg Nog
Registered user

Posts: 21629


« Reply #45 on: Feb 27, 2012, 11:38:48 AM »

HEY BLUCAS

It's your favorite actress!
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dieblucasdie
Registered user

Posts: 24493


« Reply #46 on: Feb 27, 2012, 11:46:35 AM »

Ha, yeah, that pilot got terrible reviews.  I do like that we had a year where "Don't Trust the Bitch in Apt 23," "Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea," and "Good Christian Bitches" all had hilarious/nonsensical title changes forced on them.
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he was basically your only chance at making the world love you.
peacocks
Registered user

Posts: 4615


« Reply #47 on: Feb 27, 2012, 12:49:43 PM »

Man so 30 Rock this season is as good as it's been in years. Last week's episode was fucking killing me; it's probably one of the best of the series.

I agree!

And dangit I'm into The New Girl now. I hated on it so hard in the beginning!
« Last Edit: Feb 27, 2012, 12:53:17 PM by peacocks » Logged

dick-check your priviledge
Thermofusion
Registered user

Posts: 10000


« Reply #48 on: Feb 28, 2012, 12:11:30 PM »

As for the CBS thing, calling it now: Adam Brody as Sherlock. In a twist, Watson will be an attractive female, converting their vaguely homoerotic relationship into a Castle-style heteronormative sexual tension that's more palatable for the types of people who watch CBS.

Quote from: BBC News
Actress Lucy Liu has joined the cast of the CBS show Elementary, which is a Sherlock Holmes TV remake, in America.

The 43-year-old will star in the pilot as Joan Watson, Sherlock's side kick, which has been traditionally played by men. Watson will live with Sherlock in New York.

Oh man that was easy. Bluc you and I could probably spend an hour or so conjuring the perfect CBS show and sell it to them for cray skrilla
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triple paisley minimum
dieblucasdie
Registered user

Posts: 24493


« Reply #49 on: Feb 28, 2012, 02:39:28 PM »

ahahaha the showrunner is from Ringer, Medium, Point Pleasant (oh man, I'd completely forgotten about that particular train-wreck) and Tru Calling.

Quote
Apparently, Elementary will see Johnny Lee Miller’s Holmes – breathe easy, everybody, he’s still English – as a former consultant to Scotland Yard whose drug addiction brings him to a rehabilitation center in NYC. Post-rehab, Holmes moves in with a “sober companion” in Brooklyn, Joan Watson, a “former surgeon who lost her medical license after a patient died while consulting with the NYPD.”

I don't think I could've come up with something that dumb.  And duh Thermo, Adam Brody's TOTALLY going to be in that Josh Schwartz Misfits remake.
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he was basically your only chance at making the world love you.
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