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658215 Posts in 9262 Topics by 3396 Members Latest Member: - vlozan86 Most online today: 55 - most online ever: 494 (Jul 01, 2007, 02:59:53 PM)
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Author Topic: The quotable LPTJ  (Read 147633 times)
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jebreject
Registered user

Posts: 27071


« Reply #1650 on: Sep 08, 2006, 02:32:12 AM »

Quote from: "milly balgeary"
comedy! man, you're crazy. i don't like porn, i don't like hookers. i didn't get no hooker for 8 bucks and change when i was in thailand so the chances are small. i wasn't even tempted. my birthday present is ongoing. it's called empathy.
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I'm not racist, I've got lots of black Facebook friends.
das kranke Tier
Registered user

Posts: 5894


« Reply #1651 on: Sep 08, 2006, 12:54:53 PM »

Quote from: "FreddyKnuckles"
...as lptj grows it is forced to experience the general douchery of the public.
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Compendious as hell
Andrew_TSKS
Registered user

Posts: 39426


« Reply #1652 on: Sep 08, 2006, 05:22:56 PM »

Quote from: "RoyBiggins"
Re: the new Joanna Newsom record:

Quote from: "the eyepatch guy"
Quote from: "KJ"
How do you pronounce this album title? Is it like 'whys' or is 'Ys' to 'Yes' what 'Yr' is to 'Your'?


It's pronounced "ees" apprently. I believe that's Elvish for "I am not afraid of you and I will beat your ass."


fuck, i missed a discussion of a new joanna newsom record?!? could someone point me to the original thread where this was discussed?
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I just want to be myself and I want you to love me for who I am.
hannah
Registered user

Posts: 9366


« Reply #1653 on: Sep 08, 2006, 05:24:10 PM »

Andrew: http://lastplanetojakarta.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=6568&start=0

I mean, I think.
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Andrew_TSKS
Registered user

Posts: 39426


« Reply #1654 on: Sep 08, 2006, 06:10:06 PM »

oh golly, it was 7 pages long? color me stoked! thanks hannah!
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I just want to be myself and I want you to love me for who I am.
Sing The Children Over
Registered user

Posts: 1210


« Reply #1655 on: Sep 09, 2006, 09:34:06 AM »

When Waffle talks about thuggin' he ain't fooling.

Quote
hey guys, I found 3 hula-hoops of varying diameters outside my comarade's skateboard retail location. I used to think that hula-hoops were for cock-mongers. However, once I attempted to 'hula' as the kids say, I realized that hula-hoops is a thinking man's sport with many subleties and facets. Gyrating one's hips to the rythm of a colorful plastic ring filled with what one could assume was rice and/or some sort of synthetic legume to add a delightful swoosh sound at certain points of the rotational cycle. And most importantly, it harks me back to times when I'm big dick fucking some bitches
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The almighty dollar it ain't what it used to be.
C of heartbreak
Registered user

Posts: 5285


« Reply #1656 on: Sep 10, 2006, 07:58:36 PM »

Quote from: "Lalitree"

Well, in real life (which for the sake of argument includes internet message boards)
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HOW WOULD I BE? WHAT WOULD I DO?
SPACERACE
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Posts: 12155


« Reply #1657 on: Sep 10, 2006, 11:54:08 PM »

Quote from: "Bernard"
Silky Johnson
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Supplier of highest-quality synthetic duck butter
das kranke Tier
Registered user

Posts: 5894


« Reply #1658 on: Sep 11, 2006, 09:51:18 AM »

Quote from: "elpollodiablo"
I once punched a man in the cock so hard he died.
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Compendious as hell
andronicus
Registered user

Posts: 6515


« Reply #1659 on: Sep 11, 2006, 05:12:01 PM »

Quote from: "silentsigh89"
ow ow!
Under-used inter-jection.  Plus rilly cute.
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das kranke Tier
Registered user

Posts: 5894


« Reply #1660 on: Sep 13, 2006, 10:16:11 AM »

Quote from: "Sing The Children Over"
No matter how many times it kicks you in the balls and takes your cheddar you keep coming back for more.
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Compendious as hell
Maaik
Registered user

Posts: 15119


« Reply #1661 on: Sep 13, 2006, 02:48:48 PM »

Quote from: "milly balgeary"
I'd like an Incapacitate function.

Heartily seconded, my man.
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I need anne the man lessons
the eyepatch guy
Registered user

Posts: 712


« Reply #1662 on: Sep 13, 2006, 07:32:04 PM »

Quote from: "Greg Nog"
I was sipping some whisky and plucking my banjo, which led me to playing along with "Whisky Johnny." But now I think I've changed the chords to ones that I like better. But to hell with it, it's "traditional", I can fuck this song's chords as hard as I want.


That made me feel a little funny. Down there.
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jebreject
Registered user

Posts: 27071


« Reply #1663 on: Sep 14, 2006, 06:48:47 PM »

Quote from: "justinh"
It was probably some dude in a cape pressing records in his parents' basement or something
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nonotyet
Registered user

Posts: 7691


« Reply #1664 on: Sep 15, 2006, 02:02:07 PM »

Quote from: "reeseboisse"
i have a boner, but only because i just woke up.

good luck w/ yr school thing
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jebreject
Registered user

Posts: 27071


« Reply #1665 on: Sep 19, 2006, 12:13:12 AM »

I just LOL'd like I've never LOL'd before.

Quote from: "dieblucasdie"
Quote from: "Good Intentions"
Surely she's hotter than pedantry.


Are you new here?
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I'm not racist, I've got lots of black Facebook friends.
heather marie
Registered user

Posts: 5753


« Reply #1666 on: Sep 20, 2006, 11:58:28 AM »

Quote from: "diesel_powered"
So... uh... there's totally this girl I like, and I think she's into me, but I'm kinda wondering how I go from... y'know... constantly talking at parties and stuff to like.... hittin' that. Cuz I'm into her and I think she's into me and I just don't know how to move from that one point to the next. Advice?


Quote from: "milly balgeary"

invite her over. prior to her coming over, set up some nice candles. put on your best outfit. cook for her. then tell her you love her. tell her you absolutely can't live without her. then, in a voice, a little different from your natural voice, maybe two shades deeper, a shade more gutteral, talk in third person about yourself, and about reincarnation and how you knew her in another life.


Quote from: "everyone else"

PIHB!!!!1111111111
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Heathcote
Registered user

Posts: 1839


« Reply #1667 on: Sep 20, 2006, 02:30:22 PM »

PIHB?
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Me. You. We Two

Audioscrobbler/last.fm

[url=h
The_Tourist
Registered user

Posts: 2951


« Reply #1668 on: Sep 20, 2006, 02:31:35 PM »

Quote from: "Heathcote"
PIHB?


not until you're older
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we have the money for missiles and fun
alistarr*
Registered user

Posts: 8129


« Reply #1669 on: Sep 20, 2006, 03:20:44 PM »

i think google is your friend here, heathcote
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RavingLunatic
Registered user

Posts: 6408


« Reply #1670 on: Sep 23, 2006, 09:17:09 PM »

Quote from: "dieblucasdie"
See, Bush's plan totally worked.  We invaded Iraq, and now Bin Laden is dead.


Quote from: "elpollodiablo"
Wouldn't it be fucking priceless if it was some GOP policy (or combination of policies) that polluted the water that killed ol' Binny?


I laughed and laughed and laughed
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I will meditate and then destroy you!
diesel_powered
Registered user

Posts: 19210


« Reply #1671 on: Sep 24, 2006, 01:07:45 AM »

Quote from: "theartlessmonster"
oh and OT ANNOYING! someone leaves a note on my car that there should be enough room for two cars in the space where i parked so next time could i pull down more so two cars can fit there.  BUT, what they fail to recognize is the RED painted on the curb for fire safety which I was trying to abide by, so FINE YOU ASSHOLE, I'll BLOCK THE RED so then when there is a fire in your fucking house and the truck can't fit where needs to go, you'll just burn alive in there, and will i feel bad? probably but that's besides my MADNESS right now, you'll suffer a painful death but OH you got to park out front though! when you are charbroiled and dead you won't be able to drive anymore anyways! asshole! look at the curb before you go leaving stupid fucking notes. ALSO, there WAS STILL ENOUGH ROOM FOR TWO CARS! unless one was a BIG FUCKING TRUCK that you don't need to drive in the city ANYWAYS, do you have a SECRET UNDERGROUND FUCKING FARM back there I don't know about? no? oh then you don't need a giant fucking truck then do you? FUCKER!  and you could at least leave your name you pussy so i can find you and tell you where to go because you know what? HELL IS NOT FULL YET!

WHy are people such assholes? they HAVE To say something right? just have to feel good they left thier little anonymous note! oh i can sleep now because i left a note about the car being two inches further from where I THOUGHT it should be. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU LADY?


Mary seems all nice, but cross her and she'll FUCK YOUR SHIT RIGHT UP.
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Quote
she had me at "let's make a sandwich"
Anne the Man
Registered user

Posts: 4444


« Reply #1672 on: Sep 24, 2006, 05:48:11 AM »

Re: Bin Laden being dead:

Quote from: "jebreject"
Now there won't be any more terrorism! Yay!
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Hey jerks, mind if I watch you jerks do your jerk-bending?
jebreject
Registered user

Posts: 27071


« Reply #1673 on: Sep 24, 2006, 06:05:36 AM »

you know, just before i opened this, i was thinking, wouldn't it be awesome if someone recognized me for the comedic genius that i am and put me in the quotable thread?
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jebreject
Registered user

Posts: 27071


« Reply #1674 on: Sep 24, 2006, 08:21:20 PM »

Major LuLz, but also QFT:

Quote from: "elpollodiablo"
Quote from: "alexandra"
executive assistant to 2 different marketing gurus


Alex I can think of two simple things you can do to effect positive and noticeable change in the world.
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I'm not racist, I've got lots of black Facebook friends.
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