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658126 Posts in 9262 Topics by 3396 Members Latest Member: - vlozan86 Most online today: 43 - most online ever: 494 (Jul 01, 2007, 02:59:53 PM)
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Author Topic: more uncertainty: the crisis continues  (Read 52718 times)
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Swimmy
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Posts: 1126


« Reply #250 on: Nov 09, 2007, 06:11:44 PM »

The phrase "Anal Economics" is ridiculously awesome.
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A Gentile and a tax collector.
G.C.R
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Posts: 6219


« Reply #251 on: Nov 09, 2007, 09:24:35 PM »

and very nice new page!
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I think it's fair to assume we'll be inebriated and covered in bodily effluvia all weekend
hannah
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Posts: 9366


« Reply #252 on: Nov 12, 2007, 05:48:19 PM »

I found out this morning that I start a part-time temporary job tomorrow, and then this afternoon a job I'd actually want called to schedule an interview. I'm going to screw up this balancing act, I just know it.
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milesofsparks
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Posts: 5200


« Reply #253 on: Nov 12, 2007, 06:59:29 PM »

I found out this morning that I start a part-time temporary job tomorrow, and then this afternoon a job I'd actually want called to schedule an interview. I'm going to screw up this balancing act, I just know it.

you can do it, hannah.  just call it a doctor's appointment.  and don't dress obviously differently that day.  no problem.
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With some of my research and knowledge I am a little sure about it.
hannah
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« Reply #254 on: Nov 14, 2007, 09:42:02 PM »

Thanks, belatedly, milesofsp. The interview schedule is all figured out. It'll be late morning on Friday over the phone. I have to get through one more day of a job that involves moving pieces of paper from one folder to another, while somehow fucking up my already fucked-up back in the process, and then I better put on my best voice. Nonetheless, I'm a bit insane right now, and I'm worried I'll ruin everything. I'd really like a job that I half-care about and that'll pay me just enough.

Well.
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Aglaya
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Posts: 4990


« Reply #255 on: Nov 15, 2007, 10:09:33 PM »

So I just had a bomb dropped on me, in anticipation of it being dropped on someone who will almost certainly be really upset by it, in an attempt to win me over and get me to play defense with the other person.  So here's the story:
S is a mental health counselor at a local prison.  B was, until today, librarian at same prison.  One of B's library aides got released in May.  She has since been dating him.  Because of who she is, and who everyone who has met him says this guy is, I'm not sure if their relationship is entirely bad or not.  The fact that she started dating him before she got a new job is, but that can't be changed now.  S is almost certainly going to be raging mad.  I don't blame her.  If I were her, I would be.  Did I mention S & B are roommates?  B says they're in love, they're thinking of setting a date for the wedding for after S enters grad school and is no longer working at the prison.  Our other friend has met the guy, says he's great, says he's great for B, says she was pissed off and yelled at B and tried to talk her out of it for a long time, but she's been won over.  Apparently, the guy's conviction was really flimsy, and he went through a bunch of psychological testing that basically has proven he is innocent and he is in the process of getting his RN license back.   I don't blame B for hiding it from S all this time, I just wish she hadn't started dating him when she had to do it behind everyone's back.  So now, I'm sitting upstairs waiting to see what S's reaction is going to be.  I am not taking sides.  If S is mad and wants to yell, I am not going to try to talk her out of being mad or convince her that everything is ok.  B brought the guy over to their house when S wasn't home.  It's just a really questionable situation, and I am pretty unsure about it.
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auto-da-fey
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Posts: 9495


« Reply #256 on: Nov 15, 2007, 10:41:52 PM »

I read that paragraph twice, and I don't get it. Why does S have any right to dictate B's dating habits? Are S and B a couple? Is B marrying S, or the ex-con?
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El_Josharino
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Posts: 7483


« Reply #257 on: Nov 15, 2007, 10:44:07 PM »

Yeah, I read it a couple times and I still don't think I followed. This is one of those times when we need a venn diagram or something.
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Hey sexy mama, wanna kill all humans?
Aglaya
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Posts: 4990


« Reply #258 on: Nov 15, 2007, 11:35:13 PM »

Sorry, it's hard without using names.  S & B are roommates, life-long friends, and until today both worked at a prison.  B is now dating one of her former library aide inmates.  It is illegal for prison staff to have contact with former inmates, plus, the whole person working at a prison dating someone who used to be an inmate at said prison is a little sketchy.  S is fine though, things are ok.  I'm still feeling a little odd about it, but it's not my thing, and now I look forward to meeting him and liking him as much as everyone else does.
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G.C.R
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Posts: 6219


« Reply #259 on: Nov 15, 2007, 11:38:28 PM »

Soooo what was he in prison for?
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I think it's fair to assume we'll be inebriated and covered in bodily effluvia all weekend
Aglaya
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Posts: 4990


« Reply #260 on: Nov 15, 2007, 11:48:36 PM »

Well, here's where the story gets a little uncomfortable for me.  According to basically everyone, including the judge who gave him the minimum sentence, he was convicted solely on the testimony of the girl who he supposedly didn't actually molest.  Apparently, upon leaving prison, he paid a substantial sum of money to go through really rigorous psychological testing, which included B having to talk to someone about their sexual habits, which proved that he doesn't have those kinds of tendencies.  Also, he passed a lie detector test before the trial.  Hopefully all this is true and he is not actually a child molester.
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Twurt away, merry horse-scorpions of the internet.
G.C.R
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« Reply #261 on: Nov 15, 2007, 11:51:11 PM »

uh, yeah, I really hope that's true too.
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I think it's fair to assume we'll be inebriated and covered in bodily effluvia all weekend
auto-da-fey
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« Reply #262 on: Nov 15, 2007, 11:55:11 PM »

that little addendum seems rather crucial to a full understanding of the scenario, I'd have to say
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Aglaya
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Posts: 4990


« Reply #263 on: Nov 16, 2007, 12:05:05 AM »

Yea, the first time around was just kind of getting it all out.  If S is fine with it though, there's a good chance that he really is a decent guy and all that about the false conviction is true.  She deals with those kinds of people on a daily basis, and has gotten really good at spotting the bullshit.  It's odd, because I'm usually the one who is just sitting back saying "Whatever, not my life, not my choice, not my business," but I actually appear to be more bothered by this whole thing than anyone right now.
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Twurt away, merry horse-scorpions of the internet.
guanajuato
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Posts: 1787


« Reply #264 on: Nov 16, 2007, 12:15:16 AM »

This is kind of strange, my aunt was going on and on about this aspartane stuff, and I looked it up on the web and found this:
http://www.rense.com/general67/rum.htm

I'm no big fan of Rense, but... there is a lot of shit on the web about this stuff. I don't know! The uncertainty continues, I guess.
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we're celebrating your sprint anniversary!
maggiego
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Posts: 1331


« Reply #265 on: Nov 16, 2007, 12:21:34 AM »

Yeah. umm, the laws and regulations about contact, and I mean ANY contact, between a convict and a staff member or volunteer are really really strict. I have to wonder whether S will possibly also be in the doodoo, simply because the women share a place.

And I have been very grateful for such rules, as I worked with pre-parolees, several of whom got out while I was working there. When one guy who was relatively harmless but kind of attached to me got out, some goof volunteer coordinator gave my office phone to him. He proceeded to leave several increasingly bizarre messages with the English Department, and could have done much worse the minute he heard 'Hello, English Department'. So yeah, this can become serious shit.

On the other hand, I by no means think that people who have been to prison should be shut out or ostracized or any of the things they are. Those who come out of prison should have opportunities like anyone else-- just not with the people they met inside. I do feel pretty strongly that no relationship between inmate and staff will ever fully grow away from what it once was. Or verrrry rarely, anyway. So I am concerned for both your friend and the man, because I just cannot imagine that not being a mess. And I hope S is cool when she finds out, but she really always needed to know.

As for what dude did time for, and whether he did it or not, et cetera, I think that's untenable for anyone not directly involved, and, for these purposes, irrelevant. (That sounds callous, but I'm just being practical.)

Crissee, mostly, I hope you are able to keep your friendships with both women. Your posts here and elsewhere reveal that your friendships are especially close and are dear to you. You are a really good friend.



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Hi, I see you're really good at Centipede.
auto-da-fey
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Posts: 9495


« Reply #266 on: Nov 16, 2007, 12:24:41 AM »

he was convicted solely on the testimony of the girl who he supposedly didn't actually molest.

okay, I'm procrastinating right now and giving this too much thought, but, uh, I'm assuming the "supposedly" is coming from him? Also, unless this is some 1980s-satanic-ritual-abuse-panic-style prosecution, isn't direct victim testimony pretty significant in these cases? Finally, not to convict the guy without a trial--oh, wait--but is it seriously sound psychiatry to evaluate whether he's a molester by how he fucks B? I had never heard of that technique before.

(x-posted with maggie, and not meant in a snarky way. I really am curious about this form of testing)

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Aglaya
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Posts: 4990


« Reply #267 on: Nov 16, 2007, 12:56:36 AM »

I absolutely agree that those laws are in place for a very good reason, and I really do wish that if she felt being with him was the right thing to do, she would have been slightly more responsible and waited until she had another job.  She did, bad as it would seem in any other case, do a good thing by keeping it from S until now. 
So far as the testing is concerned, there was a lot to it.  I don't know all of it, I got a brief rundown of it earlier tonight when I found everything out.  It sounds like it could be very thorough, but it could also be thorough in ways that don't matter.  I really don't know. 
The supposedly comes from him having passed a lie detector test about it and everyone who has met him believing that he didn't do it.
Anyway, things seem ok here.  The only real thing to do at this point is wait it out and see.  B has characteristics that would make her both very susceptible and almost completely insusceptible to manipulation in this kind of case, so believe I'll be watching him like a damn hawk, but that's all I can do at this point.
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Twurt away, merry horse-scorpions of the internet.
G.C.R
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Posts: 6219


« Reply #268 on: Nov 16, 2007, 11:32:24 PM »

Its both a good thing and a bad thing, but I've just got my first sunburn of the season! good because: summer is here! bad because: sunburn.
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I think it's fair to assume we'll be inebriated and covered in bodily effluvia all weekend
Andrew_TSKS
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Posts: 39426


« Reply #269 on: Nov 21, 2007, 11:38:28 PM »

my mom is apparently giving me $1000 on friday, and helping me start a bank account with it. that's sweet and all, but i need to raise $1200 by january for the business i'm involved in. i'd really like to be able to save some of this money, or do awesome things with it that i never planned to do, but as it is i have the uncomfortable feeling that all of it will just go towards the $1200 i need, and that i won't be able to make myself save much of anything from my actual pay during that time. at least i won't end up owing my business partners money that i don't have, but still, you'd like getting $1000 from someone to be a nice bonus that you can do something cool with and not just something that will keep you from getting into economic trouble. sigh.

by the way, she's giving me the $1000 because she sold some land, apparently. my brother is getting $1000 too.
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I just want to be myself and I want you to love me for who I am.
girl
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Posts: 9144


« Reply #270 on: Nov 21, 2007, 11:54:33 PM »

Keep saving like you've been doing, then make up the difference from the $1000. Whatever's left, you coudl send it to me and I'll invest it for you.

 Cool
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diesel_powered
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Posts: 19210


« Reply #271 on: Nov 22, 2007, 12:06:23 AM »

I hate being the bearer of bad news, but one of my parents' friends is probably going to die within the next few days. This whole thing is awkward for them for obvious reasons and it's awkward for me because I don't know what to do and there's nothing really to do. I mean, I'm generally of the opinion that death is part of life, etc. and that there's nothing you can do about it so best to spend what time you have doing worthwhile things and when people die there's really nothing else to do but think about how nice their life was and move on, etc. etc. etc. But that's beginning to feel more and more like denial by the day. Either way, I really don't know how to be a caregiver in this situation and even though they're handling it as well as they can (I mean... this person is having one of the more predictable deaths one can have so they've been able to make their peace, etc.) it's beginning to freak me out a little.
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she had me at "let's make a sandwich"
Andrew_TSKS
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Posts: 39426


« Reply #272 on: Nov 22, 2007, 12:19:03 AM »

Keep saving like you've been doing, then make up the difference from the $1000.

hah, i've had so many bills hit me in the last month that i haven't saved ANYTHING. Sad

but the plan was to come up with the money by selling records on ebay, and i think i will still do that. now i just won't have to get rid of anything i really really love, which is nice. hopefully i will be able to save at least some of this money.
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I just want to be myself and I want you to love me for who I am.
maggiego
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Posts: 1331


« Reply #273 on: Nov 22, 2007, 12:23:05 AM »

Andrew, I think instead of all these financial plans, and with due respect to the fabulous girl's financial acumen, you should instead buy my new art and literature magazine. It is made from authentic garbage culled from Williamsburg, Brooklyn. It costs-- what luck!-- exactly $1000.
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girl
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Posts: 9144


« Reply #274 on: Nov 22, 2007, 12:24:13 AM »

Also a good plan. But not quite as good as sending the money to me.  Heart
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