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658132 Posts in 9262 Topics by 3396 Members Latest Member: - vlozan86 Most online today: 61 - most online ever: 494 (Jul 01, 2007, 02:59:53 PM)
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Author Topic: Tales from Cinematic Motions  (Read 45553 times)
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FreddyKnuckles
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Posts: 11705


« Reply #75 on: Nov 19, 2007, 05:06:41 PM »

I'll fight you I will
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Quote from: Heathcote
I'm in with Greg Nog, IT'S FUCKING FAFFLE TIME!
Greg Nog
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« Reply #76 on: Nov 19, 2007, 06:48:59 PM »

coldforge just sent me this review of Beowulf, and I've since spent the past ten minutes shouting at my computer screen.
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Aglaya
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« Reply #77 on: Nov 19, 2007, 10:34:41 PM »

I read like the first 5 lines before I decided it wasn't worth my time.
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girl
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« Reply #78 on: Nov 20, 2007, 12:18:14 AM »

coldforge just sent me this review of Beowulf, and I've since spent the past ten minutes shouting at my computer screen.

I had no plans to see this ever, but Crispin Glover's in it? I'm now just the tiniest bit intrigued.
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auto-da-fey
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« Reply #79 on: Nov 20, 2007, 12:34:36 AM »

Let the record show, however, such Crispin Glover appearances as:

Beowulf (2007) (as Crispin Hellion Glover) .... Grendel
The Wizard of Gore (2007) .... Montag the Magnificent
Epic Movie (2007) .... Willy
Simon Says (2006) .... Simon/Stanley
Drop Dead Sexy (2005) .... Eddie
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003) .... Thin Man
Like Mike (2002) .... Stan Bittleman
Charlie's Angels (2000) .... Thin Man
Chasers (1994) .... Howard Finster

Actually I'm kinda interested in The Wizard of Gore, but my general loathing of remakes will probably keep me away.
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girl
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« Reply #80 on: Nov 20, 2007, 12:42:18 AM »

Yeah, but:

Beowulf (2007) (as Crispin Hellion Glover) .... Grendel

I mean, he's Grendel. Under other circumstances, this would be awesome! I really am just a little disappointed that this looks like the worst movie ever and I'll hate myself if I deign to see it.
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auto-da-fey
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« Reply #81 on: Nov 20, 2007, 12:58:22 AM »

At the same time, Howard Finster was a crazy but awesome southern artist who did the cover for REM's Reckoning and all sorts of insane art about repenting sinners in the hands of an angry God, but that doesn't make Chasers any good.

I mean, you might point out that none of this has anything to do with Chasers, since I don't think Glover's character has anything to do with the historical Finster (I haven't seen that crappy film since being dragged to it in the theater, and I barely recall it at all), but I stand by my point.
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Bernard
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« Reply #82 on: Nov 20, 2007, 01:18:28 AM »

I read like the first 5 lines before I decided it wasn't worth my time.

Think again!

http://www.capalert.com/capreports/beowulf.htm
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Ha, see, and look how Julian Casablancas ended up!!!!
dieblucasdie
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« Reply #83 on: Nov 20, 2007, 01:35:12 AM »

Also, Crispin Glover is just the voice of a CGI Grendel, so, yeah.
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Greg Nog
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« Reply #84 on: Nov 20, 2007, 07:17:30 AM »

I had actually been super-excited about this movie for the past year or so, ever since I first heard they were making an animated version of Beowulf with Crispin Glover in it.  'Cause that right there -- epic poem, animation, good creepy actor -- is pretty much the trifecta for me liking a movie.

But I swear to god, if one person praises the shitty fucking CGI, I'm gonna hit something.  Even the crazy Christian review was all:

Quote
I will, however, offer a little subjective bandage for the scoring wounds delivered by the content of this film. Beowulf  presents some of the most dazzling detailed CGI artistry by standard-setting artists I have ever seen (over 1200 films so far). Even the flames and flying ash in the mead hall fireplace were nearly as realistic as photography. But why must such great talent and genius be wasted on such content as in Beowulf?

IT'S NOT DAZZLING, THE CG-ARTISTRY.  YOU FUCKERS.  THEY LOOK LIKE ROBOT MANNEQUINS.

FUCK

No one looks at Terms of Endearment and says, "Wow... well, whatever its flaws, those definitely looked like real human beings, didn't they."  I DON'T CARE if you can make fire look a little more "real" using a million-dollar computer when it will look realer still to just SET A REAL FUCKING FIRE AND FILM IT.

GOD DAMN IT WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE COMPUTER PEOPLE

edit: for spelling and grammar, which fell by the wayside when I was mad at Beowulf.
« Last Edit: Nov 20, 2007, 09:05:15 AM by Greg Nog » Logged
silentsigh89
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Posts: 3073


« Reply #85 on: Nov 20, 2007, 07:39:51 AM »

yeah, I saw it! It looked like the introduction (or, as I was rather coarsely corrected by the troupe of dorky boys I went with, a cut scene) to a video game!

And, well. As soon as you saw the king's but I just started chanting "IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE BOOK. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE BOOK". It was really very baffling.
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FreddyKnuckles
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« Reply #86 on: Nov 20, 2007, 08:43:51 AM »

I WISH they used robot mannequins
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Quote from: Heathcote
I'm in with Greg Nog, IT'S FUCKING FAFFLE TIME!
dominic
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Posts: 133


« Reply #87 on: Nov 20, 2007, 09:07:41 AM »

I WISH they used robot mannequins

I've felt this way about many many a film. In fact it often happens in life. I walk out of a bar and think to myself, "that place was alright, but if everybody had been a robot mannequin it would have been so much better."
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jebreject
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« Reply #88 on: Nov 20, 2007, 02:35:19 PM »

that capalert review was weird. i've read many capalert reviews, but i become convinced for the first time that it was all an elaborate satire. maybe it was just because i was stoned. but dude said that MAN put nudity in the bible, that it wasn't there naturally. WTF
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das kranke Tier
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« Reply #89 on: Nov 20, 2007, 02:40:40 PM »

Little Big Man, staring Dustin Hoffman, which is kind of like the Passion of the Christ, only with Indians and general 70s goofiness. 

This is definitely in my top ten favorite films of all time!
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Compendious as hell
das kranke Tier
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« Reply #90 on: Nov 20, 2007, 02:41:30 PM »

I watched The Man Who Would Be King last night.  I don't really have anything deep to note about it, but it was a good adventure movie, beautifully shot, and starring Sean Connery and Michael Caine.  I'd never seen it before and it was really pretty fun. 

Man, that's a great film.  I remember crying so hard at the end when I watched it as a tyke...
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Compendious as hell
Andrew_TSKS
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« Reply #91 on: Nov 20, 2007, 05:05:25 PM »

At the same time, Howard Finster was a crazy but awesome southern artist who did the cover for REM's Reckoning and all sorts of insane art about repenting sinners in the hands of an angry God, but that doesn't make Chasers any good.

also, he's in the video for "radio free europe", which was filmed in his yard (which he spent decades turning into the biggest junk sculpture garden ever).
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I just want to be myself and I want you to love me for who I am.
auto-da-fey
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« Reply #92 on: Nov 20, 2007, 05:17:08 PM »

Totally off-topic, but Finster was one of the big names in one of the coolest art exhibits I've ever seen, Coming Home: Self-Taught Artists, the Bible, and the American South. There's a book of it that I'd love to get, but art books are always so damn expensive.
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Ah_Pook
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« Reply #93 on: Nov 20, 2007, 05:33:51 PM »

i broke down last night and downloaded the new Futurama DVD movie thing. i am weak! but im still definitely buying it no matter what when it comes out next week, so i figure whatever.

about to watch that joint when i get back from dinner.
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Blame it on the girls who know what to do
Blame it on the boys who keep hitting on you
girl
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« Reply #94 on: Nov 20, 2007, 07:32:39 PM »

I'm a little less than 10 minutes into Daywatch, and I suspect my life would be better if I just went ahead and turned it off right now. The chalk of fate?!
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girl
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« Reply #95 on: Nov 21, 2007, 12:00:20 AM »

I was pretty much right about Daywatch, but I did enjoy the very end. (the 2 1/2 hours before that, not so much)

I also have Revolver at home. Does anyone know, did I rent this because Whit was talking about it, or because I was adding Oliver Reed movies to my queue?
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Ah_Pook
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« Reply #96 on: Nov 21, 2007, 12:03:55 AM »

you added it because you were thinking of how much you like the beatles album
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Blame it on the girls who know what to do
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girl
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« Reply #97 on: Nov 21, 2007, 12:25:41 AM »

Maybe that's it!

I HATE dubbed movies, by the way.
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YojimboMonkey
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« Reply #98 on: Nov 21, 2007, 12:32:01 AM »

So I just watched this movie called Mad Dogs.  I guess I thought it might be interesting 'cause it had Jonathon Pryce in it and was supposed to be science fiction.  It was actually a terrible mess that tried to tie in Revelations and the Rapture at the end.  Most of the way through the movie though there was a part with a magician and I was like damned if that isn't the dude who played Billy Fish in The Man Who Would Be King only like 30 years later.  So I looked him up and yep, that was the guy.  Totally shit movie though regardless.
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jebreject
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« Reply #99 on: Nov 21, 2007, 01:26:00 AM »

I was pretty much right about Daywatch, but I did enjoy the very end. (the 2 1/2 hours before that, not so much)

apparently marina has read the books this and nightwatch or whatever are based on and digs them a lot. i don't know nothin' about it though
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