DEAR LAST PLANE READERS HELP I AM STUCK IN A VAN TRAVELLING NORTHEAST THROUGH GERMANY IT IS HARD TO SLEEP IN HERE AND THE ONLY BOOKS I BROUGHT ALONG ARE TOO DEPRESSING TO READ MY FAULT, I KNOW NEW RECORDS? I HAVE BOUGHT A STOUT BAKER'S DOZEN SO FAR BUT USUALLY I LIKE TO WAIT UNTIL I GET HOME TO SIT DOWN WITH MY NEW CD'S IF I HAD TIME TO GET ALL ANALYTICAL I'D EXPLAIN HOW THIS IS RELATED TO GLUTTONY BUT IT'S BEEN TWO WEEKS SINCE I HAD ENOUGH SLEEP SO GETTING ANALYTICAL IS KIND OF OFF THE BOARD FOR RIGHT NOW SO ANYHOW BEFORE I FLED THE U.S. I GOT A DISCMAN AND I FILLED A 24 CD WALLET WITH STUFF I THOUGHT MIGHT COME IN USEFUL DURING LONG DRIVES FOR EXAMPLE DYLAN'S BLONDE ON BLONDE, MORBID ANGEL'S GATEWAYS TO ANNIHILATION, AND THE CHILLHOUSE DANCE STYLINGS OF MIGUEL MIGS STEP OFF YOU MIGS-HATERS THIS STUFF IS LIKE AN ALL-EXPENSES-PAID TRIP TO POST-LOBOTOMY BLISS, ALL COTTON CANDY & STICKY CHOCOLATE MOUSSE YES, MOUSSE BUT AS MUCH AS I AM DIGGIN THE MIGSTER I THINK I'D RATHER TALK ABOUT ONE OF MY LONGSTANDING OBSESSIONS, WHOSE VOICE LIGHTENED MY HOMESICK LOAD FOR THE BETTER PART OF AN HOUR YESTERDAY LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HE CAME ALL THE WAY FROM FRESNO, WOULD YOU PLEASE WELCOME THE ONE AND ONLY PLANET ASIA OLD-SCHOOL RAP OVER SANDPAPER-THICK BEATS DECORATED WITH CRAZY BUSY SCRATCHES MORE ON-POINT THAN NIJINSKY'S TOES DESPITE SOME UNCHARACTERISTIC MACHO FLEXING ON THE ALBUM‚S SECOND TRACK PLANET ASIA'S GREATEST CHARM IS HIS ESSENTIALLY MILD NATURE: LIKE JAY-Z, HE TALKS INSTEAD OF YELLING, HIS SLIGHTLY THROATY VOICE MORE INVITING THAN COMMANDING AS IN SAY THE CHANT-LIKE " BREAKIN' SHIT DOWN" ("NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, WE JUST KEEP BREAKIN' SHIT DOWN/BREAKIN' SHIT DOWN/BREAKIN' SHIT DOWN") IT‚S THE NEXT TRACK THAT KILLS ME THOUGH IT'S CALLED "FRESNO STATE OF MIND" YES YOU HEARD RIGHT "FRESNO STATE OF MIND" BOW DOWN BEFORE PLANET ASIA, THE ONLY MC ON THE PLANET FLY ENOUGH TO TITLE A TRACK "FRESNO STATE OF MIND" IT OPENS WITH A REPRISE OF ASIA'S GENIUS ALBUM-OPENING RAP FROM PEANUT BUTTER WOLF'S "MY VINYL WEIGHS A TON": "FRESNO'S IN YOUR AREA" HE SAYS, AND THEN "'BOUT TO SHOW YOU WHAT THIS REAL WEST SIDE SHIT IS LIKE, YOU KNOW?" NOW I DO NOT DOUBT THAT THE FRESNO HOUSING PROJECTS ARE EVERY BIT AS BRUTAL A WARZONE AS ASIA SAYS THEY ARE, BUT THE WORD "FRESNO" IS JUST CONSTITUTIONALLY INCAPABLE OF SOUNDING HARD-ASSED COMBINE THAT WITH ASIA'S UTTERLY CHARMING PREDILECTION FOR REFERRING TO HIS HOMETOWN BY ITS ZIP CODE (92706 DON'TCHA KNOW) AND I THINK YOU WILL BEGIN TO FEEL THE AWESOME POWER OF THIS UNJUSTLY UNDERRATED MC IMAGINE WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE STUCK IN A VAN SPEEDING DOWN THE GREY GERMAN HIGHWAY NOW GET PLANET ASIA'S "KEEP YO' ASS SHAKIN'" GOING IN YOUR HEADPHONES AND WE WILL BE LOCKED IN, YOU AND I HOLD THAT THOUGHT I MISS YOU ALL WILL WRITE AGAIN AS SOON AS I CAN LOVE FROM VERY FAR AWAY JOHN |