SIX VIEWS OF DIONNE WARWICK'S "PROMISES, PROMISES" (LP, Scepter Records, produced by Bacharach-David, year unlisted)

V.

Robots had just colonized West Virginia, and while cyborgs can be forgiving when called upon to cleanse an area of its pure-bio population, real robot gangstas ain't havin' that shit. It was death-ray all day, you know? "Yesterday I saw a city full of shadows without pity," sang Dionne Warwick from speakers mounted on the rear-views of their podmobiles as they rolled murderously through town. The air stank of burnt skin. I took pictures but I can't ever stand to look at 'em. "And I heard the steady rain whispering your name, whispering your name" — what I wanted to know then and what I would fucking love to know now is this: who the fuck had the bright idea to program the invading army of robot monsters so's they'd function most efficiently when Dionne Warwick was playing? The desire to dominate the world, that's easy, anybody can understand that. It's the special flourishes that make you wonder, though. What do you mean, "wonder what"? Just wonder, that's all. Christ.



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