And I do mean “nothing.” I can’t
say anything that makes this better for me or for anybody else, and while
I’m sure there are stances one can cop that would make it feel
a little better, Smith deserves better than that. I hope, perhaps vainly,
that his great artistic success sometimes felt as good for him as it
often did for so many of us. I am sorry that at the end he was in so
much pain. I wish I could have done something to help. I am glad to have
the evidence that one of our numbers shone so brightly and was capable
of such great things. I despair of seeing any of us rise to the occasion
with such apparent ease again. I suppose ‘apparent’ is the
key word there. I don’t know. I have no good conclusion this week.
I have missed you. I will see you soon.
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