Not just a 1982 Cabaret Voltaire album, either, but a live album. If the evangelical Christians are right -- which they’re not, but let’s posit that that might be, just for sake of appropriating their imagery -- then there’s going to come a day when God, seated on a Great White Throne, will pass judgment on the quick and dead all at once, and it’s going be hella cool except for the people who learn that they’re not going to be invited to stick around for the chips and canasta. If I’m right -- which I’m not, because my premise is faulty, but it’s too late to turn back now -- then the Great White Throne judgment will last for at least a few days, possibly even a few weeks, during which time God will mainly be droning away announcing this and proclaiming that and generally reading everybody the riot act, even the people who He already knows He’s going to forgive during the final, hair-raising few minutes of the Great White Throne judgment. During this gripping if seemingly interminable oration, if my theory is right, God will eventually get around to the people who participated in the recording, manufacturing, and distribution of live albums, and He will spend a fair amount of time yelling at them, colorfully describing the great, cosmically incomprehensible pain which so many live albums have caused Him since the invention of recorded sound. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 [next]