| “Sweet jumping Christmas,” he’s saying; maybe there’s a guest off to his left, nodding knowingly. “Have you even heard this new Nile album? Holy fuck, dude, this is awesome.” We switch from Camera #2 to Camera #1, so that Matthews is addressing the audience directly. “You can say what you will about the state of heavy metal, you can call it stagnant if you want, you can complain about how all the fun’s gone out of it now that everybody’s found out where the party’s at, but I’ll tell you this: if you can find a band in any genre that’s got even a fraction of the creative energy that Nile’s got, I will personally drink this entire bottle of bleach,” at which point he produces the three-gallon Economy Size Clorox which distresses a large number of viewers and which subsequently costs him major bargaining points when his contract comes up for renogotiation. |