ok, cool. now it’s just you heavy drinkers, and me, and the couple of people who directly disobeyed my instructions and are still reading this all clear-eyed and sober-minded. don’t you worry about those folks: by continuing to read this piece, they engage in an act of dishonesty, thereby inviting evil into their lives, so it’s only a matter of time until Satan chews out their eyeballs
   
   

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-LPTJ-

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